I usually don’t get too personal but today I am going that route. Sometimes it helps to find out if anyone else is going through the same thing.
After the birth of my last son, I stopped working altogether. It was a huge financial adjustment for my family. After about a year, I started getting a lot of pressure from my husband to go back to work. I hated the thought of not being home with my children so I found a way to make money by working from home.
The truth is, my husband never believed that I would be able to make money working from home. He said he would believe it when he saw it. Well, he was proved wrong and now he is happy that I can contribute financially to the family income and still be home with the kids.
Did I say he was happy? He is happy when I am not on the computer! He seems to think that I can magically make money from home without ever actually having to spend time on the computer. He does not understand that when you work from home, the hours are not necessarily Monday through Friday from 9 to 5.
One day he had the day off and spent it at home. I had a lot I had to do for work so I went through my usual work day. He ended up mad and resentful that I did not spend time with him instead (which meant sitting and watching tv all day). I explained that just because he had the day off did not mean that I could ignore my work.
There is something else that he does not understand. He does not realize that when I work I have to stop every other minute to do something for one of my children. I have two small kids at home and I cannot work straight through from 9 to 5 as if I was at an office. Although I try to explain this to him, he seems to think it should be a breeze. Once my kiddos are all in school, my work should go much more quickly and be accomplished in that time frame. However, that is four years away!
Basically, I feel like I am damned if I do and damned if I don’t. It has been more difficult lately due to the holiday season. I do my shopping online and that has added to my time on the computer. Tis the season to be jolly….. yeah right!
Is this just our problem, or do any of you have the same issues with your spouse about working from home?
Technorati Tags: marital stress, resentment working from home, working from home spouse, working from home stressAdd to:
I sort of know what you're talking about. I am not married. I'm just a teenager living with my parents. However, my mother is very well aware that I earn money from writing and other stuff online and when I earn money she's always happy for me.
However, how can I possibly do my "job" if she's always telling me to get off?
I have taken a new habit of waking up earlier in order to get more work done before she gets home from her work.
However, when school starts again it'll make it a pain.
Posted by: Caren | December 17th, 2007 3:35 pm |
Thank you Caren for sharing. I too get up earlier so I can get more work in. Good luck to you, it sounds like you are off to a good start
Posted by: KellyBax | December 17th, 2007 3:42 pm |
hrm … sounds like he's got some pretty unrealistic expectations for you. working from home is great fun … but it does take more than 9 to 5 to get it all done, because it's rarely – kids or not – a straight-through kind of work process. sorry to hear he's being annoying about the whole thing.
Posted by: ender | December 17th, 2007 3:57 pm |
Thank you. I know it will be easier when all of the kids are in school but that is 4 more years. The good thing is that I truly enjoy my work. That helps
Posted by: KellyBax | December 17th, 2007 4:01 pm |
In my productive years (1960s, when my 3 sons were small), my wife always walked out of our office (publishing business; she worked with me) at precisely 3 PM every day. It made no difference what was left half-done, undone, or anything else. Projects were simply abandoned–in mid air. She just had to be home, every day, when the kids got home from school.
At the time I puzzeled a bit over this. But, looking back, I think this was a truly admirable trait, and I love her all the more for it.
Posted by: Jack Payne | December 17th, 2007 5:02 pm |
In my productive years (1960s, when my 3 sons were small), my wife always walked out of our office (publishing business; she worked with me) at precisely 3 PM every day. It made no difference what was left half-done, undone, or anything else. Projects were simply abandoned–in mid air. She just had to be home, every day, when the kids got home from school.
At the time I puzzeled a bit over this. But, looking back, I think this was a truly admirable trait, and I love her all the more for it.
Posted by: Jack Payne | December 17th, 2007 5:06 pm |
That is an admirable trait Jack. I chose to stay home with my children but still find a way to contribute to the family's income. I am sure it will all work out in the end
Posted by: KellyBax | December 18th, 2007 6:22 am |
It is hard for partners and children to get used to the idea that their home is now also an office with the same need for boundaries as an office situated outside the home. Until they do I'm afraid you'll always be interrupted. Small children of course can't be expected to grasp the concept but adults should be able to
Good luck
you will prevail
Posted by: Pamela | January 2nd, 2008 11:02 am |
It is hard for partners and children to get used to the idea that their home is now also an office with the same need for boundaries as an office situated outside the home. Until they do I'm afraid you'll always be interrupted. Small children of course can't be expected to grasp the concept but adults should be able to
Good luck
you will prevail
Posted by: Pamela | January 2nd, 2008 11:02 am |